The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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