You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
