I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
