Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just want to make out with him forever
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
