i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I want her autograph on my taint
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
