um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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