turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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