If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
