I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
