i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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