Me. At least after what I've been through.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
babies were throwing up all over the place
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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