My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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