Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
