lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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