At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
