he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
