a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
