I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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