If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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