Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
