im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
