Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
