is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize