we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
