Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
