He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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