I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
