just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
birth control should be required to get into college
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
