i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
