when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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