There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
