You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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