It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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