your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
