i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
