Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
