Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Dignity is for republicans.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Is Oprah even human
Randomize