Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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