also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
