nut hugger
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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