just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
