there's paper in my vomit.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
