Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
