She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
