you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
