Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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