You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
