Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
