I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
