On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Randomize
