dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
