wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
