So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
