my mouth tastes like poor choices
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
