Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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