that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
