did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
