my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
