sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My vagina is very pro this idea
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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