So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
