Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
