somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
