You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
