JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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